when ur teacher gets mad at u for not doing ur homework
*gets absolutely nothing done* well time for a break
It’s so sad that some of the loveliest and kindest people dislike themselves a lot
follow my tumblr not your dreams
My goal is to be very, very cute but also very, very spooky
"Don’t wear a hoodie if you don’t want to be mistaken for a criminal and shot."
"Don’t get drunk at a party if you don’t want to be sexually assaulted."
"Don’t argue with a cop if you don’t want to get killed."
"Don’t walk home by yourself if you don’t want to get raped."
Victim blaming 101: Everyone should live in fear from ever doing anything.
i naturally look mean but it keeps the weak people away
- me in 2012: *tags a reblogged text post with relatable content 'same'*
- me in 2014: *tags a picture of a cabbage cut in half 'same'*
This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.
damn, i just got SERVED. by my waitress. this restaurant is excellent.
im sorry to break this to you, but it seems as if i have owned you so hard that you are now officially my son. im not happy about it either. in fact i am very disappointed in you
- me: i'm going shopping do you want something?
- friend: nah, i'm fine
- me: *eating cookies*
- friend: give me one
- me: are you fuckin kidding with me